Volunteer Arms Football Club

What a cruel and beautiful this game can be. With the buzz of the Teuchters match still massively present in the boys minds we set off on the 3 day hike to Dalkeith full of endeavour and drive to start where we left off the week before. With a slightly edited team due to various factors we saw a couple new faces getting involved. First of these was Espie a tall industrious player who is best summed up as a utility man, the other new addition to the ranks was Paddy Gauson, a throwback to heady days at Loretto RC and St Daves. Looking to establish some kind of continutity we tried to keep the team as similar as possible and stuck with the flat 4-4-2 that suits us so well.

Early on I could sense things weren’t right. Due to some horrific planning I arrived in Dalkeith at 5.30, it would take until 6.40 before any of the VAFC boys would show, and even then it was only 2 of them. At 6.50 it was looking like a pretty expensive 2 on 2 game, presumably the first one ever to be refereed by a recognised SFA official. In a particularly rude display the 1811 squad rocked up at precisely 7pm, otherwise known as kick off time. If it wasnt for the full VAFC squad turning up at 7.15 I would be able to properly lambast the Witchery for their tardiness, however it is still pretty outrageous to show up at such an hour.

After this false start we finally got kicked off a good half hour late, thanks to the generosity on display from the staff at the campus. From the very kick off I managed to make a bit of a joke of myself, with Chris ‘Community’ Muir the man in the middle reminding me to tuck my socks into my shinpads, Owens quick pass to me from kick off went straight out as I was still arsing around with socks. The Witchery put us under some pretty intense pressure early on. A decisive flashpoint in the match was seen with an attack coming down my wing I tried to dupe the attacker by dummying the ball and let it go through my legs in order to turn and clear. As i went to send the ball into orbit the ball had already moved and I ended up near enough carrying out a double leg amputation on the boy. Thankfully no caution was merited, however from this free kick the ball was played to the other wing and a sloppy foul was conceded. From this 1811 capitalised on the stroke of half time with a well taken free kick that beat everybody in the box, including all the Witchery boys and it nestled into the back corner of the net. Definitely an unfortunate end to a half that saw both teams have fair chances and VAFC holding out against some pretty intense pressure.

An impromtu babble with some good points from Willie Mulgrew, spectator and father to midfielder/keeper Ciaran, pointed out that it was evident we had to start winning the midfield battle and 4-5-1 was deemed the best option, with Owen dropping back to become an attacking midfielder. The 2nd half started much the same as the 1st ended and on the hour mark after an insane goal mouth scramble that saw Mike Kinsella pull off some excellent reaction saves, an extremely dubious whistle went to declare a Witchery goal, karma coming back to haunt us as the ball hadn’t crossed the line when the whistle went. After this, all chaos ensued and the floodgates opened with the Witchery boys banging in a further 6 goals in an eventful second half. With a couple decent breaks VAFC came close but lacked a clinical touch and without a second striker it was a case of trying to bomb through the middle.

The real lowlight of the match, was not the utter drubbing the scoreline suggested, but was the result of an offside decision against number 17 for the Witchery. At least 4 yards offside he was instantly incensed, and for the umpteenth time in the match chose to unleash a torrent of abuse aimed directly at Chris ‘Fair-Play-Eagle-Eyes’ Muir. Foul language is generally tolerated at this level, but when directed at an official like that it should merit an instant sending off. A truly sad state of affair that speaks volumes about the state of the game in Scotland at community level, where a player in a game where his team is 5 or 6 goals ahead feels its fine to behave like that at getting caught yards offside.

Despite the fairly flattering scorline for 1811 Witchery the boys are very keen for a rematch to settle the score, and also because they were good lads, despite a few lapses in the fair play department. It was clear what the difference was, fitness. Without a weekly g ame and a bit of training VAFC were always going to have the lesser hand, however this situation will rectify itself once the games come thick and fast and I can already feel the effects myself.

It was a really tough game that was tough to take positives from, but there were a few good performances out there. Paddy Gauson, after coming on late in the match brought some stability to the midfield with a fairly deft touch, Gordon Mackenzie did as good a job as possible in centre half, but the player who walks away with the most glory would have to be youngster Declan Kinsella for dealing with almost every attack on his flank and making a few good runs. It gives me great pleasure to give man of the match to such a young lad, who is surely at the core of the future of this club.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to apologise to the team and the dedicated travelling support of 2 for my antics at the final whistle. In a fit of disgust at my inability to defend the goal that was scored on the stroke of full time (which by the way was not some kind of mercy rule as 1811 suggest). As the ball struck the net and the whistle was blown I threw the sacred VAFC captain’s armband to the ground. I’d like to say that being the first player in the clubs history to wear the armband means so much more to me than this action suggests, and I’d like to ensure you that these kind of shenanigans will not occur again.

After being completely unable to find opposition at such short notice we will be making use of our booking at Fisherrow (which hasnt been cancelled yet) for a training match and also a scouting opportunity. Putting out an invite to everyone we know who will play it will give the boys a chance to pick up some lost confidence and also a chance to run the rule over some potential new signings.

If you want to waste your time reading an utterly unobjective account of the game here’s 1811′s attempt at a match report.

Cheers, JD